Cat-lin and Toe-by-us

A renowned columnist for The Times newspaper, Caitlin Moran, wrote a book recently that has kept me on a weird roller coaster of laughing out loud and very strongly disagreeing with what she says, called How To Be A Woman. It's part autobiography and part Caitlin's (pronounced "Cat-lin", of all things! How could famous Caitlins mispronounce their names and make life difficult for all the rest of us?!) views on today's feminism.

One chapter is called "I am in love!" and describes Moran's love life and how women in general handle relationships, which Moran portrays as lots of talking and analyzing with girlfriends if the guy is really into her and what counts as subtle messages of love, etc. Moran writes of a lovestruck-and-won't-shut-up-about-it friend: "She's in the Girl Matrix - trying to catch invisible, slo-mo bullets those of us outside the Matrix can't see", invisible bullets supposedly sent by the guy in question to communicate. Moran argues that women discussing relationships like that is a sign that "HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU", because men are not that complicated and they will tell you what they think loud and clear and not invisibly. Despite using these huge dumb stereotypes (along with really funny stories), I think Moran does get one part right:

"When women find the right person, on the other hand, they just... disappear for six months, and then resurface, eyes shiny, and usually about six pounds heavier. 'So what's he like?' You will say. But she will be oddly quiet. 'It's just... good,' she will say. 'I'm really happy.' And then that will usually be the end of the discussion. Usually forever. You stop talking about things when you've worked them out. You're no longer an observer, but a participant. You're too busy for this bullshit."


Enter Tobias, a 28-year-old German PhD student who builds computer models of weather patterns over Tibet. Pronounced Toe-bee-us. There's not much to say, except that it's been four months since our first kiss (which is when a relationship starts, obviously...), neither of us can pronounce the other's name, and last week he was away at a conference for the whole week and I almost went crazy with boredom. Luckily, we had planned ahead and met up in Brussels for the weekend. Why Brussels? Well, basically because it was equidistant from where he was and where I was, and because it had cheap flights for him and cheap Eurostar for me. And it had, you know, culture and stuff. Chocolate. Beer. Waffles. Did you know French fries were invented by the Belgians? Because I didn't, until the Fry Museum in Bruges taught me otherwise... (seriously!)


Point being that there's nothing to say because it's SO GREAT to have a companion whom you expect to talk to every day and who - get this - expects the same of you. So great, and so easy, and thus so boring. Nothing to complain about = nothing to say, right? :) And, by a funny array of coincidences, Tobias quickly met tons of important people in my life, including my parents, Deena, and all of my friends in Cambridge, and he'll get to meet Sean and Laura next week. What a lucky guy! When we got back from the super fun (and also slightly scary for him) weekend with my parents - only two months after Kiss Day - Tobias said we had to book flights to go visit his mom in Hamburg. Yikes. Fair enough, I guess, maybe a little fast if it's a Meet My Girlfriend weekend, which my parents' weekend was not... but hey, it's another travel weekend with Tobias! Wooooo!

4th of July party at my house. Note Tobias's red, white & blue clothes! What a sport.

Deena punting and looking panicked, Tobias (and me) having a great time enjoying her punting (and her panic!)

My favorite place in Paris - Notre Dame

Strolling through Darwin, Tobias's college

Taking a break in Brussels