If rowing is an intelligence test, we are all FAILING.

"There have been a number of recent attacks from the swan know as Mr Asbo [which stands for Anti-Social Behavior Order, which is the legal conviction police give kids who spray-paint or are raucously drunk or whatever, generally causing trouble] at the bottom of the Reach and into Plough Reach. There are moves afoot to have him relocated, however in the meantime please ensure that all crews take care that they don't antagonise him, even if it means stopping in good time and manoeuvring round him. All coaches should keep a wary eye open for him and get their crew to react accordingly.

It was noted at the recent Moorings Meeting that there have been a number of occasions when the sewage system at the Travellers' camp [a community that is constantly moving to new places, similar to Gypsies] has overflowed into the small drainage ditches, which eventually connect to the Cam in and around Plough Reach. Although the risks are considered low we are coming up to the time when the flow in the Cam starts to slow and so the water changeover is reduced. I will ask you all to stress to your crews that they clean and cover any open cuts and thoroughly wash their hands after every outing. They must also ensure that water bottles and food are protected if they are in the bottom of the boat, in a plastic bag for example, to prevent the river water contamination."

Email from Cambridge University Combined Boat Club Safety Adviser.

Attacking swans and a river of sewage?! How stupid do you have to be to be a rower?

And all these problems just as it stops being so friggin cold...

Dumbest (and somehow most addictive) sport EVER.